Famous Quotes by My Husband
(Of course, he did not make them up, he just loves them.)
A place for everything and everything in its place.
There’s no time like the present.
These two habits are a great foundation for dealing with clutter. First, only keep things that have a place, a home, and then muster up the raw discipline to deal with the clutter before it accumulates. Some people are great at this. My husband is an engineer / building inspector which means he has a keen eye for anything out of place. He has impressive habits and routines in his own life. Some of my children share those traits. Some do not.
As for me, well, I’m a hybrid. . . pack-rat / clutter-buster who is short on time and always multi-tasking. I am torn between opposing forces of economizing and purging stuff. My economizing thoughts say, “This might be useful and we might need it someday,” and my purging thoughts say, “Where did we get all this stuff. It’s out of here today!” Simply put, we have too much stuff, even though I am getting rid of it all the time.
I find that people deal with different kinds of clutter in different kinds of ways.
Clutter Vocabulary
Piles: stacks of papers, books, dishes, boxes, etc
Heaps: clothes, linens, stuffed animals, toys, etc.
Crowding: too many things occupying one space
Stuffing: items stuffed into places not their home to get them out of sight quickly
Scatter: things that have a home, but are at present scattered about the floor or table
as in shoes, socks, coats, hats or books, pencils, paper
Reactions:
Piles / heaps: Although I can become overwhelmed at times with this kind of clutter, I tolerate it better because it gives me the idea that I am in the process of organizing. However, sometimes the pile / heaps become too numerous and I get that uncomfortable feeling that the clutter itself is out to get me, plotting against me and multiplying while I sleep. Sometimes we move the clutter around to different rooms or rearrange the piles. Sometimes we call it cleaning up. It makes us feel better. ;-)
Crowding: OK, this is a tricky one. With a larger than average family, crowding is a way of life, but personal space is relative. In America, we have lots of personal space and stuff. People typically live in dwellings with several rooms used for specific purposes. Other places around the world, many people occupy a single room and use it for cooking, eating, sleeping and fellowship. I can tolerate a lot of crowding, but I am discouraged when I can’t get to the frying pan, when coffee mugs are precariously stacked on top of one another or the clean clothes will not fit in the drawers.
Stuffing: This kind of clutter is the most frustrating for me. I am NOT a stuffer. Generally, I prefer piles, heaps, and stacks, right out in the open so I can see clearly what needs attention, rather than a surface clean that covers over a mass of disorder underneath. It usually comes as a surprise too. Everything looks so nice and neat and then it happens, you open a drawer, a cabinet or a closet and there is all this STUFF. On top of that, it is often paired with a stressful search for something urgently important or just when you are in a hurry to get something done. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the helping hands, but I can get frustrated with my reading glasses being stuffed somewhere every time I leave them on the counter or finding bills two weeks after they were due. ( I will also confess that I am a shameless stuffer when we have last minute company, so if you drop in, no peeking in the cabinets, behind or under furniture, and in any closet.)
Scatter: This kind of clutter screams laziness to me, even if is not always the case. Sometimes the guilty party has been momentarily distracted or just run to the bathroom. Sometimes, it is just forgetfulness or an inept child. This kind of clutter can make even a sparkling clean room look messy, so I am not very even keeled about this one. I either just ignore it for the moment or I enlist a crew to get it done immediately.
Actions
Piles / heaps/ stacks
- Plan A: 45 minute plan (one day or ½ day plan)
- Enlist help if it’s available. I used to invite over other children to help out. Then I would serve them banana splits and let them play after we conquered the mess. For a big day, plan an easy meal (crock pot dinner, or pizza, something easy) plus keep quick snacks on hand for your working crowd. It works best for me to work for 45 minutes out of every hour and then take 15 off to do something else: switch over laundry, read, return phone calls, play a game, do something fun. This gives us time to keep up with other household chores and hopefully enjoy pleasant dispositions.
- Plan B: 15 minute plan
- This is slow and steady plan, 15 minutes in a week, a day, or an hour depending on your need the amount of clutter, your time line or if you just found out the 48 people are coming for Thanksgiving Dinner. I am always amazed at what can be accomplished in little spurts without feeling overwhelmed.
- Plan C: prevent or corral the clutter
- Mail: I sort mail immediately unless a “stuffer” gets to it first. I put junk in trash or shredder basket, bills on my desk, magazines in the family room reading basket, and other mail to be read in a file folder.
- Books: have a place: shelf, basket, portable file box
- Clothes: enough room in the drawers. Limit the amount
- Toys: baskets, less is more
- Baskets / Boxes: some piles are helpful, just keep them in nice looking containers (socks, shoes, throw blankets, toys, stuffed animals, keys, dish towels, etc.)
Crowding:
LESS IS MORE. Get rid of things on a regular basis, and invest in organizing tools to find creative storage spaces (ex. storage under the bed, hanging baskets) I sort through clothes, dishes, etc as I see it when doing daily tasks . If the children are doing most of those tasks, I try to take a look around each week and get rid of a few things, even if it is only one drawer, one cabinet, one shelf.
Stuffing:
First of all, only keeping enough stuf, so that everything has a clear home helps. Then training the “volunteer staff” to put it there is step #2. Stuffing is my most dreaded form of clutter. It is the kind of clutter that can take me down. I usually heave a familiar sigh or I march around looking for the culprit to come clean up the new heap I have made from the stuffing I discovered. Even though I am usually calm and collected, when I am tired, sick or in the middle of a multi-tasking meltdown, I flounder. I am ashamed to admit it, but on rare occasions I go into a clutter-bustin’ fit. I start filling big black trash bags with anything that is not breathing, as fast and furiously as my hands and feet will go, all the time, muttering under my breath about where all this stuff comes from and why I am the only one who ever really cleans up around here. It is not a pretty sight, I know, but my family knows that when they see those black trash bags, Mama is over the edge. I usually recover and sort through the bags before they are taken to the landfill or thrift store. Yes, I rescue the legos and even about ½ of the 50 million stuffed animals when sad little eyes say, “But Mommy, those are my children.”
Scatter:
Scatter clutter tempts me to do ridiculous things like call out, “Who left their shoes and socks all over the place?” First of all, I usually know to whom the shoes belong. Besides that, everyone will answer, “Not me.” I try to refrain from pointless activity and just go and get the guilty party and have them clean it up. Sometimes I don’t notice it until bed time when I step on a lego or something. Trust me, bedtime is not the time to lecture about the mess. Stand down, enjoy the snuggle. The clutter will be there in the morning. Again we do best when we have less stuff and a clear place for things.
The Kicker
The kicker with clutter is that it is not just a matter of stuff, it is a matter of time, routine, habits, and of the heart. Families are a messy business. We are not only dealing with the cluttered house, but also piles / heaps of bad attitudes and selfish ambitions, crowded minds and schedules, stuffed hurt and fear, scattered short comings and failures. All of this clutter is woven together, so that very quickly it becomes clear that as we begin to deal with the outward clutter, we are also dealing with the inward clutter of the heart. Grace makes all the difference.
That’s not to say that we do not deal with laziness or a lack of good habits, but we do not have to rely on being critical, irritated or communicating condemnation in the process. We can lighten the load, walk along side and strengthen the habits in ourselves and our children. We have to avoid the always and nevers. You know what I mean ladies, “You always leave your coat on the floor,” “You never hang up your towel.” We probably all do it’; children do it to each other. Sometimes the children are hardest on eachone another. I am amazed at how quickly a child can see the error of his siblings while being oblivious to his or her own messy room. Isn’t that the way we all are? It is easier to point out and focus on the fault of another than to face our own shortcomings. Always and nevers are difficult to bear and our children will likely give up or grow weary in trying to perfect themselves.
It is our parental duty to train our children, not just to pick up after themselves, but to develop a sense of responsibility, a strong work ethic and household order is a great way to do that. Yet, having an orderly home is not a means within itself, not a crowning glory or a trophy of achievement, but it is a means to an end. Order allows time to live and learn, to enjoy one another, to serve others.
Every day, every circumstance is a platform for grace (unmerited favor) and mercy (pardoned guilt). It is good to hold to a standard, but we want to be very careful what we communicate. My mother always taught us that people are more important than things. She did not preach it, but lives it out every day. We cannot set up a structure and then merely have high expectations. We have to bring the children along, by degrees, leaving a margin for failure, for forgetfulness, for bad days. Maintaining order should bless our homes, not fill them with angry frustration.
So the first step to keeping clutter under control is to be grateful for the abundant people and things in your life. Secondly, clarify your purpose. Are you holding onto things out of fear or prudence? Are you cranky about the clutter because you want more time for other things or because you want others to admire your achievement. The stuff we keep should help us fulfill our callings not interfere with them. There are so many helpful resources to help with organization, but the most important part is to do it for the right reasons.
A day might come when I wash a few loads of clothes a week, cook for two and have very little stuffing and scattering. I will probably still have pile/heaps of good intentions though. ;-) My house might be very neat, very quiet and a bit lonely. So what matters most is not how much order I achieved, but how I went about it. What kind of people emerged from this home? Order is good. It sets us free to learn, to live, to love, to serve, but it is not an end in itself.
Helpful tips that have helped us…well, for the most part
• Think in terms of improving order NOT complete, 100% victory
• Less is more
• Stack piles or heaps neatly.
• Outsmart the mess makers with baskets and boxes by the door to collect coats and hats.
• Don’t put it down, put it away.
• Purge, purge, purge. Regularly. Stuff multiplies in your sleep.
• Declutter your schedule as well as your stuff. Lots of clutter accumulates when we hurry.
• Quick pick-ups. This works best for us near meal time. Food is a built in motivation.
• Storage: Hand-me-downs, school papers, art projects, etc. are a challenge to store. That’s another post in itself. There are tons of helpful resources on storage ideas or systems and we have gleaned from them over the years. One thing that has made a big difference is to invest in “bank boxes” which stack nicely and even make storage look nice and neat.
Resources:
Emily Barnes
The Organized Family
Don Aslett
http://www.flydlay.com/
May your home be a place of joyful peace, a refuge, a resting place.
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